Well hello there! ...Oh ok, I'm sorry

mediaroar finds himself a bit coy. Approaching a once-used path, now slightly overgrown and neglected...

mediaroar is pleased to announce that the roar blog is back!

Almost...

A brief glimpse at the date of the last entry, along with a look at recent headlines is surely enough to recruit a few more sceptics and disenfrachised consumers to engage in the struggle to ...fight back!


( Dammit Eamonn!)

mediaroar shall return in a few days, in the mean time - after you've tried to restore your faith on whether voting for an x-factor contestant does anything but fund shareholders.

What programme have you spunked all your cash on chosen to fund?

Something media-way pissing on your chips?

give us a shout! hello@mediaroar.com




Grrrrr x


EDIT: A few of you have emailed in, contemplating whether mediaroar considers himself the Jack Bauer of the media... Well, mediaroar certainly likes that idea, and would like to assure you all that mediaroar is perhaps best described as a cross between Jack 'ain't got time to bleed' Bauer, and this guy...

GrrrrrjinglejanglejewellryGrrrrr x

Eamonn Holmes:Timelord

mediaroar has spent the last 10 years working in the crazy world of media. mediaroar understands that there are, indeed, many tricks of the trade that are, frankly, needed in our 24 hour consumer tastic industry.

now sometimes not all is as it seems. ..

Natasha Kaplinsky, mediaroar has it on good authority*, needs a staggering 12 hours in makeup just for a lunchtime bulletin. Tom Cruise, among others, stands on a box in every scene he films*. While we are debunking media myths, I can tell you, loyal reader, that SKY news perennial Kay Burley is, indeed, celebrating her 87th birthday this christmas*.

Enough already.

mediaroar accepts that there are certain measures used to to 'facilitate' broadcasts. Correspondants may not be actually sitting in front of the UN building in New York, it could be a computer trick. That's OK. It gives context. 'Ready, steady, Cook!' is not live, but simply recorded a number of weeks in advance, and edited to produce a coherent show. All good. The laughter you hear in the background may not be made by real people- it's all for effect.

Some broadcasts are not live. They are pre-recorded. Live is not always practical.

Take last saturday morning. mediaroar prised open his welded eyes, and heard the comforting tones of chubby all-star Eamonn Holmes, doing his usual inept highly popular show on Five Live. There were guests, phone-ins, competitions, banter...oh it's sony award stuff.


(Fat head, fatter wallet)

After staggering all of 10 yards into the lounge, who should 'pop up' on 'saturday kitchen', why it's me old mucker Eamonn! "Gosh!", mediaroar exclaimed, "Eamonn must have recorded this mid week - greedy busy boy that he is. "text in to pick the winning dish!" a chubby northern 'chef' pleaded. mediaroar noted the extortionate cost of the competition.

So this show must be live.

Oh, but hold on, there was a text-based competition on Eamonn's Five live radio show too! At the same time...

now, mediaroar loves the pre-record. They save time and hassle. Poor old Eamonn has the SKY news flagship 'sunrise' show to worry about when he can be arsed to show up 5 mornings a week, plus any number of light entertainment shows, and now the saturday kitchen, and his weekly show on the wireless, poor lamb. BUT, don't fucking take the viewers money during both, for fuck's sake! I understand the licence fee is chicken feed for a beast like the Beeb, but mediaroar is pretty sure Ofcom has rules about that sort of thing.

The thing that really ruined mediaroar's cornflakes, was not the magic dual appearance on TV and Radio, or the fact that if you are not careful, you can end up watching the Holmes all day on every channel if you time it right. Oh no. Saturday was Eamonn's birthday you see. What are the odds that he was at home with the kids, and that both shows were an utter, utter sham??




Grrrr x






Do you have as much air-time as Eamonn? Do you have as much money as Eamonn?
hello@mediaroar.com



*possibly, probably, definately utter bollocks.

Taking the Arab shilling

mediaroar loves new things. A new day, a new car, and especially a new TV channel.

For those of you who are familiar with the little known war going on in Iraq, you will recognise the name of the oft-used Arabic news agency Al Jazeera.

Not content with serving the world in Arabic,' A-J 'has spread its wings and, only 17 months slightly late, finally launched its much heralded Al Jazeera English news channel.

The company has, at great expense, poached a veritable cornucopia of talent from, well, all over the place. You may, like mediaroar, have been wondering where some of the more familiar faces of the news channel have gone to. The answer is that they are all in Doha, breaking-in their fancy new studios.

mediaroar loves perspective, and it IS refreshing to have the news reported from a different angle - mediaroar wonders why it is necessary for a new channel to launch for this to happen, and hopefully Al Jazeera will prove a nice balance to the pathetically condescending and wholly inaccurate American favourite Fox 'news'.

mediaroar wishes the fledgling channel well, and I really, really have tried to watch it more than a token once. There are a few things to address:

• It is not so much 24 hour news, as, erm, 8 hours of shows repeated three times over a day - all of which can deeply confuse mediaroar on a bleary-eyed saturday morning. (still better than Anthony Wozza-Tozza, mind.)



• mediaroar warns you that honest reporting, and 'alternative news agendas' can prove depressing. It really is grim in certain parts of the world. It is funny how reports of another brace of Palestinians dead tend to be backgrounded by western news channels, yet this is presented with a stark brutality by Al Jazeera, at the top of every hour. mediaroar acknowledges that this is powerful stuff, and that should be applauded, and perhaps the channels at the Whitehouse should be re-tuned - but is it asking too much to end the bulletins with and 'and finally'? Some glimmer of hope? Something, anything positive? Perhaps that's the point - Don't expect to flick over to X-Factor and forget what you have just watched. Bravo Al Jazeera!



• Talent is a very subjective word. mediaroar's mother would, almost certainly, argue that mediaroar is very talented, though many may take issue. Al Jazeera have poached some premium talent. Tales of talented camera-men, producers and reporters trippling salaries to make the switch have long been heard. But if you have that much money, how can it be that the first face of Al Jazeera that mediaroar saw was this one:

(if evil had a face...)

now before you start going all 'what? She's great!' on me, hold the phone...

Ms Serra may have many friends, and as rumour has it, is well thought of professionally, but mediaroar cannot stand the woman. Her patronising, trans-atlantic drawl, with a smile that makes Kirsty Young look pretty. Still, mediaroar can be bitter, and Barbera Serra can sup her iced tea in tax free UAE, and we all know who's having the last laugh....oh.

To add to the BBC's recent woes, they have had their share of defectors too - among who, the always impressive Darren Jordan featured - here's his head, to steal a phrase:

(Ah butter wouldn't melt, would it Darren?)


mediaroar is sorry that he doesn't have any amusing or pithy final comments, I have perhaps been watching rather too much Al Jazeera, it all seems a bit frivolous now. Still, give it a go, broaden your mind. You can't watch too much, as you'll see programmes repeated - they really need to sort that out. You will also become all too aware of how fucked up so many people's lives are, and how utterly hopeless the situation in the middle east is. It's not without it's own bias, but no more guilty than the other news channels, all of them.

Makes you wonder though, SKY, BBC, Al Jazeera, FOX, CNN, et al. Why can't ALL of you be truly balanced and independent?


grrrr x

media pissing on your chips? Are you a Barbera Serra fan?
hello@mediaroar.com

Batting for the other side

mediaroar has been feeling rather guilty recently.

Yes, yes, I have been as faithful to my blog as Bill Clinton was to the next President Senator Hilary.

mediaroar has also been feeling bad for his old chums at ITV. Falling share prices, no boss and as popular as Christiano Ronaldo in Kent.

Whispers were heard over the last week. "wait and see, we have an announcement that will knock your socks off"

mediaroar was not too excitited at the thought of ITV5.

Lo and behold, mediaroar's socks were well and truly knocked off. ITV have only gone and poached the BBC's big Kahuna!












(michael Grade, probably safer in Najaf than white city.)

Michael Grade has worked, well, everywhere. ITV, BBC, Channel 4, Hollywood, BBC ... It's a bit like mediaroar's C.V. with proper jobs.

Competition is great. Hope is great. ITV is not great, but things can change.

So what would it take to buy this man's loyalty prise a top exec away from his dear BBC?
mediaroar likes to think it was that this man simply couldn't resist 8 million big ones the challenge. If anyone can do it, Michael can.

mediaroar offers this caution to the newly crowned busiest man in Britain: While this will make a fantastic, and early, 64th birthday present, careful the stress doesn't get too much Mikey, after all - you can't take it with you...

mediaroar wishes Mr Grade the best of british with his new project, and also to the Beeb, who are now, probably, nervously eager, waiting to see how much money the government will let them add to the licence fee - and they have lost their bulldog.


grrrr x

Do you earn more than Michael grade? Something in the media pissed on your chips? Are you still watching lost?

hello@mediaroar.com

Racist Roar

Justice is a funny thing.

Freedom of speech is a good thing.

The 'leader' of the BNP has just been cleared of all charges of inciting racial hatred.
He has now just stated that young men, young Muslim men are a threat to little girls everywhere.

mediaroar must be careful, and respect the verdict of the Jury - who have found him unanimously not guilty.

mediaroar abhors the facist racist partyBNP.

According to Nick Griffin, if the police had listened to him, he could have stopped the July 7th bombings in London.

I'm sure you will all agree that we hope mr Griffin doesn't celebrate too much, get drunk, and say something he may regret.

A big-up to the BBC for conducting the investigation in the first place...mediaroar hopes they keep up the good work.



Still, with some people, you can just tell that they are higher up the evoloutionary ladder...
















oh.




Grrrr x

Are you a racistsupporter of the BNP? Come justify yo'self...

hello@mediaroar.com

Sky High?

Firstly: Don't ever start off by cooing 'hiya!' at me down the telly.

Second: Don't ever tell me it's going to be a lovely lunchtime 4 hours after lunchtime.

Third: Don't ever contextualise your ramblings by saying 'if you're anything like me..' I'm not. If I was, I would do the honorable thing and resign.


Still, you are infinately more pleasing, effective and engaging than your 'head' weatherman, who, mediaroar concludes, must surely hang out with Pete Doherty of an evening.

Isn't that right, Francis?




Grrrr x

Something media-wise pissing on your potatoes?

hello@mediaroar.com

Every cloud...

mediaroar has been a little upset today.

It wasn't the utter lack of ANY decent Halloween programming on mainstream TV, (although granted, the sight of Chelsea winning again was disturbing)nor was it the actual arrival of Autumn, which involved mediaroar exclaiming ''fuck me, it's freezing!'' in front of a disapproving nun outside a tube station.

mediaroar has been upset by the fact that no matter what channel he watches, someone is always trying to make him watch celebrities dancing, or gardening, or cooking, or in a 'circus'.

Thank heavens for alternative programming.

The USA, mediaroar feels, is generally perceived as, well, a bit crap at many things. Military intelligience, spelling, and being slim come to mind.

One thing our ex-colony seems to be rather good at is TV shows. Excting, action packed, and genre defining series such as '24' are a pleasure. mediaroar has invested many hours enjoying the exploits of Doctor John Dorian and friends in 'Scrubs'.








(this is good)

It is not ALL 'gravy' in the world of yank TV.

which is why mediaroar rejoiced in the news that evil supervillain brainwasher media mogul Rupert Murdoch (no, not the one in 'the A-Team') has snatched 'Lost' off of channel 4.

Channel 4 supremo Kevin Lygo has admitted this himself.















(Don't force her, fat boy.)

mediaroar HATES 'Lost'. I mean, what exactly is the point? No answers, episodes that seem to last 30 minutes longer than is strictly necessary, and a starving fat man who never loses weight are symptoms of a lazy, self indulgent, cash-cow of a series, that appears just as it is - made up as they go along.

Good fecking riddance.

mediaroar despairs when friends - rational sensible(ish) people say:

'I know there are never answers, but I still want to watch it.'

for the love of god - WHY????

but you know what? Audiences were falling, the price was rising, and the fat guy was getting heavier - so I think it is a good thing.

Now Channel 4 can get back to real quality programming.


something 'media' pissed on your chips? Do you LIKE 'Lost'?

hello@mediaroar.com