Eamonn Holmes:Timelord

mediaroar has spent the last 10 years working in the crazy world of media. mediaroar understands that there are, indeed, many tricks of the trade that are, frankly, needed in our 24 hour consumer tastic industry.

now sometimes not all is as it seems. ..

Natasha Kaplinsky, mediaroar has it on good authority*, needs a staggering 12 hours in makeup just for a lunchtime bulletin. Tom Cruise, among others, stands on a box in every scene he films*. While we are debunking media myths, I can tell you, loyal reader, that SKY news perennial Kay Burley is, indeed, celebrating her 87th birthday this christmas*.

Enough already.

mediaroar accepts that there are certain measures used to to 'facilitate' broadcasts. Correspondants may not be actually sitting in front of the UN building in New York, it could be a computer trick. That's OK. It gives context. 'Ready, steady, Cook!' is not live, but simply recorded a number of weeks in advance, and edited to produce a coherent show. All good. The laughter you hear in the background may not be made by real people- it's all for effect.

Some broadcasts are not live. They are pre-recorded. Live is not always practical.

Take last saturday morning. mediaroar prised open his welded eyes, and heard the comforting tones of chubby all-star Eamonn Holmes, doing his usual inept highly popular show on Five Live. There were guests, phone-ins, competitions, banter...oh it's sony award stuff.


(Fat head, fatter wallet)

After staggering all of 10 yards into the lounge, who should 'pop up' on 'saturday kitchen', why it's me old mucker Eamonn! "Gosh!", mediaroar exclaimed, "Eamonn must have recorded this mid week - greedy busy boy that he is. "text in to pick the winning dish!" a chubby northern 'chef' pleaded. mediaroar noted the extortionate cost of the competition.

So this show must be live.

Oh, but hold on, there was a text-based competition on Eamonn's Five live radio show too! At the same time...

now, mediaroar loves the pre-record. They save time and hassle. Poor old Eamonn has the SKY news flagship 'sunrise' show to worry about when he can be arsed to show up 5 mornings a week, plus any number of light entertainment shows, and now the saturday kitchen, and his weekly show on the wireless, poor lamb. BUT, don't fucking take the viewers money during both, for fuck's sake! I understand the licence fee is chicken feed for a beast like the Beeb, but mediaroar is pretty sure Ofcom has rules about that sort of thing.

The thing that really ruined mediaroar's cornflakes, was not the magic dual appearance on TV and Radio, or the fact that if you are not careful, you can end up watching the Holmes all day on every channel if you time it right. Oh no. Saturday was Eamonn's birthday you see. What are the odds that he was at home with the kids, and that both shows were an utter, utter sham??




Grrrr x






Do you have as much air-time as Eamonn? Do you have as much money as Eamonn?
hello@mediaroar.com



*possibly, probably, definately utter bollocks.

Sky High?

Firstly: Don't ever start off by cooing 'hiya!' at me down the telly.

Second: Don't ever tell me it's going to be a lovely lunchtime 4 hours after lunchtime.

Third: Don't ever contextualise your ramblings by saying 'if you're anything like me..' I'm not. If I was, I would do the honorable thing and resign.


Still, you are infinately more pleasing, effective and engaging than your 'head' weatherman, who, mediaroar concludes, must surely hang out with Pete Doherty of an evening.

Isn't that right, Francis?




Grrrr x

Something media-wise pissing on your potatoes?

hello@mediaroar.com

UPDATE: 1

If there is one thing that mediaroar loves more than a day off, it is the feeling that someone has actually read his blog.


Waiting in the inbox this morning was the confirmation we have all been waiting for.









mediaroar can confirm that BBC Newsround favourite Ellie Crisell does indeed choose monkeys as her favourite animal. Also, Ellie was kind enough to read mediaroar and provide the following information:
'I don't know who you got your information from, but I'm really not much of a drinker - neither is my boyfriend'

mediaroar suspects that, being Ellie's boyfriend, he probably has better things on his mind than drinking...

still, thank you for the response, happy to clear it up. x

Christmas No 1 ???????????????????????

(Jordan, whilst filming the 'Buck Rodgers' series by look of it.)


mediaroar has come across some interesting quotes from Jordan's 'people' regarding the abhorent torrent of noise song that is reported to be Jordan and Peter's bestest ever singing , is in fact a fake that has been 'tampered' with.
By tampered, mediaroar suspects that someone pushed the 'record' button by mistake...
still, if it IS a fake, we can all rest easy in the knowledge that we should be able to hear the 'real' version in time for christmas.





grrrr x



what has annoyed/disturbed/pissed you off in the media?
hello@mediaroar.com
let it all out baby.