Eamonn Holmes:Timelord

mediaroar has spent the last 10 years working in the crazy world of media. mediaroar understands that there are, indeed, many tricks of the trade that are, frankly, needed in our 24 hour consumer tastic industry.

now sometimes not all is as it seems. ..

Natasha Kaplinsky, mediaroar has it on good authority*, needs a staggering 12 hours in makeup just for a lunchtime bulletin. Tom Cruise, among others, stands on a box in every scene he films*. While we are debunking media myths, I can tell you, loyal reader, that SKY news perennial Kay Burley is, indeed, celebrating her 87th birthday this christmas*.

Enough already.

mediaroar accepts that there are certain measures used to to 'facilitate' broadcasts. Correspondants may not be actually sitting in front of the UN building in New York, it could be a computer trick. That's OK. It gives context. 'Ready, steady, Cook!' is not live, but simply recorded a number of weeks in advance, and edited to produce a coherent show. All good. The laughter you hear in the background may not be made by real people- it's all for effect.

Some broadcasts are not live. They are pre-recorded. Live is not always practical.

Take last saturday morning. mediaroar prised open his welded eyes, and heard the comforting tones of chubby all-star Eamonn Holmes, doing his usual inept highly popular show on Five Live. There were guests, phone-ins, competitions, banter...oh it's sony award stuff.


(Fat head, fatter wallet)

After staggering all of 10 yards into the lounge, who should 'pop up' on 'saturday kitchen', why it's me old mucker Eamonn! "Gosh!", mediaroar exclaimed, "Eamonn must have recorded this mid week - greedy busy boy that he is. "text in to pick the winning dish!" a chubby northern 'chef' pleaded. mediaroar noted the extortionate cost of the competition.

So this show must be live.

Oh, but hold on, there was a text-based competition on Eamonn's Five live radio show too! At the same time...

now, mediaroar loves the pre-record. They save time and hassle. Poor old Eamonn has the SKY news flagship 'sunrise' show to worry about when he can be arsed to show up 5 mornings a week, plus any number of light entertainment shows, and now the saturday kitchen, and his weekly show on the wireless, poor lamb. BUT, don't fucking take the viewers money during both, for fuck's sake! I understand the licence fee is chicken feed for a beast like the Beeb, but mediaroar is pretty sure Ofcom has rules about that sort of thing.

The thing that really ruined mediaroar's cornflakes, was not the magic dual appearance on TV and Radio, or the fact that if you are not careful, you can end up watching the Holmes all day on every channel if you time it right. Oh no. Saturday was Eamonn's birthday you see. What are the odds that he was at home with the kids, and that both shows were an utter, utter sham??




Grrrr x






Do you have as much air-time as Eamonn? Do you have as much money as Eamonn?
hello@mediaroar.com



*possibly, probably, definately utter bollocks.

Batting for the other side

mediaroar has been feeling rather guilty recently.

Yes, yes, I have been as faithful to my blog as Bill Clinton was to the next President Senator Hilary.

mediaroar has also been feeling bad for his old chums at ITV. Falling share prices, no boss and as popular as Christiano Ronaldo in Kent.

Whispers were heard over the last week. "wait and see, we have an announcement that will knock your socks off"

mediaroar was not too excitited at the thought of ITV5.

Lo and behold, mediaroar's socks were well and truly knocked off. ITV have only gone and poached the BBC's big Kahuna!












(michael Grade, probably safer in Najaf than white city.)

Michael Grade has worked, well, everywhere. ITV, BBC, Channel 4, Hollywood, BBC ... It's a bit like mediaroar's C.V. with proper jobs.

Competition is great. Hope is great. ITV is not great, but things can change.

So what would it take to buy this man's loyalty prise a top exec away from his dear BBC?
mediaroar likes to think it was that this man simply couldn't resist 8 million big ones the challenge. If anyone can do it, Michael can.

mediaroar offers this caution to the newly crowned busiest man in Britain: While this will make a fantastic, and early, 64th birthday present, careful the stress doesn't get too much Mikey, after all - you can't take it with you...

mediaroar wishes Mr Grade the best of british with his new project, and also to the Beeb, who are now, probably, nervously eager, waiting to see how much money the government will let them add to the licence fee - and they have lost their bulldog.


grrrr x

Do you earn more than Michael grade? Something in the media pissed on your chips? Are you still watching lost?

hello@mediaroar.com

UPDATE: 1

If there is one thing that mediaroar loves more than a day off, it is the feeling that someone has actually read his blog.


Waiting in the inbox this morning was the confirmation we have all been waiting for.









mediaroar can confirm that BBC Newsround favourite Ellie Crisell does indeed choose monkeys as her favourite animal. Also, Ellie was kind enough to read mediaroar and provide the following information:
'I don't know who you got your information from, but I'm really not much of a drinker - neither is my boyfriend'

mediaroar suspects that, being Ellie's boyfriend, he probably has better things on his mind than drinking...

still, thank you for the response, happy to clear it up. x

Christmas No 1 ???????????????????????

(Jordan, whilst filming the 'Buck Rodgers' series by look of it.)


mediaroar has come across some interesting quotes from Jordan's 'people' regarding the abhorent torrent of noise song that is reported to be Jordan and Peter's bestest ever singing , is in fact a fake that has been 'tampered' with.
By tampered, mediaroar suspects that someone pushed the 'record' button by mistake...
still, if it IS a fake, we can all rest easy in the knowledge that we should be able to hear the 'real' version in time for christmas.





grrrr x



what has annoyed/disturbed/pissed you off in the media?
hello@mediaroar.com
let it all out baby.