iTV ... do it for Dennis!

Now mediaroar likes telly. In fact, mediaroar, like you, loves to watch a good bit of telly. One of the most predictable battle grounds for the all important audience figures. It is, obviously, in the best interests of everyone if all channels are competing to put out the 'best' programmes, to attract the biggest audiences. iTV1,2,3,4 and the offensively real iTV Play are, I admit, victims of circumstance. They are a commercial channel, and do not have the unique luxury of a licence fee - they need to sell adverts to make profit by the bucket load enough money to invest in programme making.

No problems so far, I feel you muse, well no.

Of course, what I mean is 'well yes'...

It has been well publicised that iTV has lost its chief exec, and is on the hunt for a new one. Profits AND ratings are at an all time low, and iTV towers is full of exasperated execs scratching their heads and wondering just what went wrong, as they make their way to another dire board meeting.
iTV has fallen so far away from the pulse of popular culture, it is in real danger of devolving into a newspaper...
They have, largely, scrapped much of their regional programming - smart move considering Ofcom themselves and the Beeb are currently ramping up efforts to build local, community based provision.
They have what must be close to the world's worst TV schedule, and can't seem to go 6 months without spawning another goddamn channel to re-run all those early nineties american programmes you never used to watch.
They really are in a bad way. Still, they have moved the big man from the top and are looking to move forward - onwards and upwards troops.

mediaroar would like the 'powers' that be at iTV to try taking a lesson from history, and applying it to the present, and that way, they really can build for the future. Here's what I mean:

Today is Sir Dennis Forman's 89th birthday. Who he? He was one of the founders of iTV, back in the day when smoking in meetings was compulsory and northern accents were banned. No, no, no, I don't want to see that again... do I? ... no. Honest.

Good old Dennis has talked to mediaroar favourite media guardian
He has been musing on times past, when they made programmes AND profits, and also there were people watching his channel. on purpose.

Would you agree that ITV is at its lowest point ever?
"Oh yes, no question - quick answer."

Is there something missing from ITV?
"Well yeah - like good programmes."

Spot on Dennis me old cocker. Spot on.

and here it is iTV:

A lesson from the past -

How do you make good programmes?
"You don't take any kind of instruction from the businessmen. In Granada, I would not let the commercial department talk to the producers or directors. They had to talk to me.

"Market research is crap. It doesn't tell you what people are going to like, it tells you what they already like.

"What you want is bold, fresh ideas. You will never get that from advertisers, commercial people or businessmen."

let's prove this by applying it to the present shall we?

case in point, the Sharon Osbourne show - audiences sinking faster than a pint of malibu and pineapple in a newcasle night club on a friday night.

(Sharon Osbourne: yummy mummy. Crap chatshow.)

the future:

Well, it IS a friday, and mediaroar feels indifferent really guilty about being so negative so here, for free, is a great little idea to send the battle weary iTV on its way...

Instead of Sharon's show (look love, you've got x-factor, that's enough) why put on a new programme which will have the added benefit of pissing off the BBC.. why not do a news programme for kids? Remember CiTV? it used to have real life presenters, and good programmes... why not take it seriously, instead of trying to drop it like an illegitimate child? (oh yes, but nasty uncle Ofcom wouldn't let them!) I bet you a small team of young, fresh jorno's will cost a lot less than one Osbourne...

mediaroar acknowledges the excellent work the Ellie Crisell and her team at Newsround do.

Indeed mediaroar is both a Newsround and an Ellie Crisell fan - and has it on good authority that if really pushed, Ellie is more than capable of out drinking her boyfriend...now that's a real woman. And, if the random internet fansites are to be believed, her favourite animal is a monkey. mediaroar will endevour to confirm this with Ms Crisell's people next week.

But hey, competition is good all round, as we established at the start... Come on iTV! Be brave! Do something that people will be interested in, take a risk. You are so clearly on the back foot when it comes to your rivals at the Beeb, and the best form of defense is attack. Make programmes that are interesting, and you never know, if you sit nice and still you may just see a glimpse of those rare viewers strolling cautiously into view. You compete on the grown up news, so why not on 'kids' news?

what's that I hear you say? 'advertisers don't like kids programmes?' Well wake up - they are not too fond of crap programmes either. They positively hate programmes that start off bad and slide downwards.. if you won't do it for mediaroar, then do it for Dennis. It is his birthday, after all.

So there you go iTV, a history lesson, a demonstration AND a free programme idea...

media roar shall be forwarding his CV to the iTV board presently.

grrrr x

something got your goat? How has the media pissed on your chips? let me know. Let it all out. You'll feel better...
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